Curiouser and curiouser...

...some details have been slightly altered in this post.

In order to make proper sense of the very strange experience I had in the library today, I need to take you back to January 2007.

I'm sitting in a cafe at uni with my friend, taking notes on cases. I'm concentrating pretty hard (unusual but welcomed) and I have a textbook sitting on the table at my side.

Suddenly, a guy that I do not know, who shall be henceforth referred to as Stalker (you can already see where this is going, right?) chimes in, "So that textbook's written by AuthorName." Startled, I look at the textbook. It is (unsurprisingly) written by AuthorName. This isn't the greatest intellectual observation of the century, given that AuthorName is emblazoned across the front of the book.

"Yeeeesss..." I say, grudgingly, given that I'm trying to do my reading and it is pretty rude to interrupt someone who is obviously otherwise engaged.

"Is AuthorName Irish?" asks Stalker.

"I'm sorry, I haven't a clue," I say politely.

Stalker starts talking about how interesting the subject is. I start looking at my watch and calculating that a) I only have 20 minutes left to finish off these cases and b) Stalker is starting to irritate me.

So I pull the Rudeness Card on Stalker.

"Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm trying to concentrate on this reading and get it finished before closing time here." I say, interrupting him in mid-sentence.

Stalker looks taken aback and makes some half-hearted witticism about students, libraries and cafes. And goes away.

* * *

It's April and I'm in the common room, probably to revise. I even have the same textbook with me. I look up from checking my email and freeze. Stalker! Stalker comes across to me. "Do you do Law?" he asks.

Shit. Well, the only other option I have, given the common room I'm in, is Accounting and Finance, and I don't think Accounting and Finance students read law textbooks. "Yes." I venture.

Stalker seems to remember our unfriendly meeting in the cafe earlier that year. He asks me my name. I tell him, instantly regret it, and spend the next five minutes after he finally stops asking me questions and goes away restricting my facebook privacy settings to maximum.

* * *

I'm walking out of a building at uni, sometime close to exams. Someone holds the door open for me. Guess who?! Stalker looks at me and says, "I've met you before, (my name)?"

Argh!

* * *

So, we're back in the present and I have all but forgotten about Stalker. What are the chances he'd be around this year, right? I wasn't even sure he was connected to my uni at all.

I'm in the library checking my email and replying to stuff related to this moot. Someone says, "Oh, you're doing MootName?" I look at the person sitting next to me. Shit!! Not only is it Stalker, but he is actually reading my email over my shoulder!

Now, talking to somebody who's obviously busy doing something is rude, but perhaps forgivable. Reading somebody's email over their shoulder? Not cool. Not cool at all.

Stalker managed to completely poleaxe me this time, so I actually replied to him. During our conversation, which I shan't bother to paraphrase, I learnt the following interesting tidbits.

- Stalker (supposedly) does research for Eminent Professor who I much admire.
- Stalker (supposedly) is teaching a class in a subject I have taken in the past.
- Stalker (supposedly) has had some involvement with MootName that I am involved with this year.
- Stalker (probably..this is my own conclusion) is a Ph.D student.

But! The plot thickens.

Stalker says he has been involved with MootName at my uni in the relatively recent past. But I know for a fact that a team has only been entered in the last two years, in the six years prior to that there was no team! So unless he is talking about a different uni, which it didn't sound like he was, this can't be true.

Stalker suggested that he was teaching a class this year, which is plausible, only I checked the timetables and I can't find anyone teaching those classes who might be Stalker - Stalker is male and I know both the guys who teach classes in that subject.

Stalker didn't know how to access past exam papers. Doesn't that sound like something that someone who is teaching classes should be able to do?

But Stalker must be involved with the uni because he has a username and password to use uni computers.

What can I hypothesise?

• Stalker is a Ph.D student but he is lying or exaggerating when he talks to me.

There is definitely something very weird about this guy and I am normally a pretty astute judge of character.

What further conclusions can be drawn if this hypothesis is proved correct?

• Stalker is (totally hamfistedly) trying to hit on me.

In fact, I'm almost sure of it. Problem is, Stalker is pretty darn persistent with his questions, I have already used the Rudeness Card once (and I'm not an absolute bitch, I don't like doing it) and he doesn't seem to take the hint.

If on the offchance you are Stalker, please note: I really am not interested. You appear to be socially inept. I have already concluded that you are very weird. Please go away and stop trying to talk to me. You are not my type in this universe or the next.